Dear Machine….

Stop yelling at me.  I do *not* need to slow down.  I have a high exercise heart rate.  No, I don’t feel winded.  My chest doesn’t hurt, I don’t feel dizzy and I’m barely sweating. Actually, when I get off the machine I hardly even have a pulse.  One of two things are going on:

  1. You are double counting.  You’re a machine at a gym. You’re not exactly high tech equipment.
  2. My heart was secretly swapped with that of a tiny bunny some years ago after a freak balloon accident.

Also of note: The chick next to me with the elliptical cranked up to level 15 who was audibly moaning, dripping sweat like Rocky, and beginning the downward death spiral—yeah, you counted her heart rate as 130.

Machine, you are a liar.

-TLOTH

21 Notes/ Hide

  1. cranquis said: I call shenanigans: if you are still alive enough to type this, you ALWAYS have a pulse. Maybe not a RAPID pulse, but a pulse nonetheless. UNLESS — wait, you’re just an artificial intelligence, aren’t you??! >_>
  2. bakewithavengeance said: “That rabbit’s dynamite!”
  3. ladyofthehouse posted this